ClanBUM: Forums / Whatever... / The Shit List hahahhahaahahahaa...

How is this website still going?! Haven't used the email I think I would have registered with this for over a decade yet this site's still here. Amazing. Talon

Fox
13 Jun : 19:48

Haha, you legends.

Kingy
13 Jun : 16:21

2020 wassup!

we outta corona lockdown soon...

Brendakov
06 Jul : 21:00

Kingy - done

MiG
06 Jul : 20:53

GET YOUR ASS TO MARS.... DISCORD! -link-

Brendakov
06 Jul : 20:46

WTF is this LOL! Why are there new chatbox posts!

MIP
19 Jun : 13:46

YO YO YO!

Kingy
17 Mar : 20:02

Who's the admin? Can we get horny_sami reinstated on the members list? =D

2017

Seven
02 Feb : 03:38

the yearly chatbox post!

MIP
05 Jan : 15:27

Miss these days man, coming on here daily!

Kingy
12 Nov : 15:40

shout out to maisieeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Seven
13 Oct : 23:17

never die.

original hopper
19 Feb : 16:46

What's up my fellow clanbums anyone remember me and how comes im not on the clanbum member list pretty damn upset tbh

mbikerdav
15 Oct : 11:50

MIP
30 May : 22:28

reminds me of the college days! ppl remember me

Kingy
17 Apr : 13:17

what is everyone up to now?

I have finished uni and working now. The last time I played CS I was still in school haha

mbikerdav
30 Mar : 22:39

Continuing the 1 post per year tradition

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The Shit List hahahhahaahahahaa...

Moderators: Rascal, Bungle, MiG, Brendakov.

Author

Post

Flaze

Fri Jul 23 2004, 01:05AM

Registered Member #14
Joined Wed Jan 07 2004, 04:18PM
posts 354

You might laugh and die from suffocation if you read this....
If you do read it, read every type of shit

The Ghost Shit
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl.

The Clean Shit
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper.

The Wet Shit
You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.

The Second Wave Shit
This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.

The Brain Hemorrahage Through Your Nose Shit
Also known as "Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit". You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.

The Corn Shit
No explanation necessary.

The Lincoln Log Shit
The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

The Nororius Drinker Shit
The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.

The "Gee, I Really Wish I Could Shit" Shit
The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.

The Wet Cheeks Shit
Also known as the "Power Dump". That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

The Liquid Shit
That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.

The Mexican Food Shit
A class all on its own.
The Crowd Pleaser
This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.

The Mood Enhancer
This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.

The Ritual
This shit occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.

The Guinness Book Of Records Shit
A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.

The Aftershock Shit
This shit has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next seven hours is affected.

The "Honeymoon's Over" Shit
This is any shit created in the presence of another person.

The Groaner
A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.

The Floater
Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushings.

The Ranger
A shit which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.

The Phantom Shit
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.

The Peek-A-Boo Shit
Now you see it, now you don't. This shit is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control.

The Bombshell
A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to shit (i.e. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities.

The Snake Charmer
A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless.

The Olympic Shit
This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Shit.

The Back-To-Nature Shit
This shit may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.

The Pebbles-From-Heaven Shit
An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't shit.

Premeditated Shit
Laxative induced. Doesn't count.

Shitzopherenia
Fear of shitting - can be fatal!

Energizer Vs. Duracell Shit
Also known as a "Still Going" shit.

The Power Dump Shit
The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.

The Liquid Plumber Shit
This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Shit.)

The Spinal Tap Shit
The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.

The "I Think I'm Giving Birth Through My Asshole" Shit
Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Shits. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.

The Porridge Shit
The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.

The "I'm Going To Chew My Food Better" Shit
When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.

The "I Think I'm Turning Into A Bunny" Shit
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.

The "What The Hell Died In Here?" Shit
Also sometimes referred to as "The Toxic Dump". Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.

The "I Just Know There's A Turd Still Dangling There" Shit
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place.

HAHAHHAAAHHAHAHAAAHAHAH

/me dies....

Bungle

Fri Jul 23 2004, 08:19AM

That's Mr.Bungle to you

Joined: Wed Jan 07 2004, 09:22AM
Location: Preston, UK
posts 383

lol took awhile but some of them are very funny

"killing 2 stones with 1 bird" - Reef

-Talon-

Fri Jul 23 2004, 08:37AM

Registered Member #180
Joined: Sun Apr 18 2004, 07:47PM
posts 273

fukin hell, this reminds me off www.ratemypoo.com or was it www.ratemyshit.com one of em, fucking gross

Lifes a bitch, F*Ck it hard

Brendakov

Fri Jul 23 2004, 10:03AM

Joined: Wed Jan 07 2004, 09:17PM
Location: Right up inside you boy!
posts 1215

The Crowd Pleaser
This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.

lol i remember when I was in 6th form and some girls (also in 6th form) invited my mate and I into the girls toilet to view a huge log!

Stu4rt

Fri Jul 23 2004, 10:45AM

Rascals Bitch

Joined: Wed Jan 07 2004, 04:18PM
Location: London, Land of Ninjas, Lasers and Gold!
posts 538

wow.. thats a great flirting technique if i ever saw one..

It's like theres a party in my mouth, and everyones throwing up.

Reef

Fri Jul 23 2004, 10:46AM

Joined: Wed Feb 18 2004, 11:35PM
posts 81

We have a "phantom logger" some are thicker then my arm !!!!!

Yup, i am still alive

Reef

Fri Jul 23 2004, 10:46AM

Joined: Wed Feb 18 2004, 11:35PM
posts 81

+ stu smells.

Yup, i am still alive

Flaze

Fri Jul 23 2004, 12:41PM

Registered Member #14
Joined: Wed Jan 07 2004, 04:18PM
posts 354

lmao

bulldogg_terase

Fri Jul 23 2004, 10:19PM

Registered Member #188
Joined: Sun Apr 25 2004, 08:47PM
Location: Norwich
posts 57

lmao

well this makes me wanna have a shit

what i find funny is that everyone looks down the toilet after and its like 'omg how the fuck did i get that out ' / 'ewwwwwwww what a mess ive made' hehehehehehehehehehehehehe
of course us ladies dont do that sort of thing

Bungle

Fri Jul 23 2004, 10:43PM

That's Mr.Bungle to you

Joined: Wed Jan 07 2004, 09:22AM
Location: Preston, UK
posts 383

bulldogg_terase wrote: ...
of course us ladies dont do that sort of thing

liar

"killing 2 stones with 1 bird" - Reef

Flaze

Fri Jul 23 2004, 11:27PM

Registered Member #14
Joined: Wed Jan 07 2004, 04:18PM
posts 354

we do those things proves one thing... we're still human, and getting rid of those waste product as quickly as possible is the best way to keep your health fit, you wouldnt want a big piece of garbage stuck in your intestines for ages...

timmy

Sat Jul 24 2004, 12:35PM

Registered Member #232
Joined: Mon Jul 05 2004, 01:46AM
posts 74

lol i think ive had every shit on that list

and there was a shit in a toilet at my school too except it was there for 6months.A full bowls worth which looked burnt and had flys going around it oooo and some funny guy stuck a pen in it, was quite the sight

Im Doing 100 On The Highway, So If You Do the Speedlimit Get The Fuck Out Of My Way

Flaze

Sun Jul 25 2004, 01:03AM

Registered Member #14
Joined: Wed Jan 07 2004, 04:18PM
posts 354

take a picture plz lol!!!

timmy

Sun Jul 25 2004, 02:26AM

Registered Member #232
Joined: Mon Jul 05 2004, 01:46AM
posts 74

lol i left that school a year ago now. the thing is what were the cleaners doing they must just have looked at it and never gone back in there

Im Doing 100 On The Highway, So If You Do the Speedlimit Get The Fuck Out Of My Way

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